Grace Alden is a retired police officer who served for over twenty-one years in New Hampshire. During her time of service, she voted routinely and expressed political opinions privately. However, in her public role, she refrained from political advocacy, the better to deliver policework to her community free from bias or the appearance of bias. Now that she is retired, she feels free to speak her mind.

Grace is also a woman who is transgender. She transitioned while she was serving. She is a lesbian, happily married to her wife.

In the wake of the 2016 presidential election, friends and family reached out to Grace in support. Many of them asked her what concrete steps they could take, to support trans rights and LGBT rights generally. Because of her lack of experience with political advocacy, Grace felt that what little advice she could give was inadequate.

This site is a project to help her explore how to advocate effectively in our society, and to help others do the same.

The blog’s title comes from a passage she ran across years ago, and wrote down:

I came home from middle school and mentioned that one of the few black kids on the playground got picked on that day.  I’d even heard the N-word for the first time.  Dad asked if I told a teacher, and I said no, I was just glad they weren’t picking on me.  “No,” he said.  And his voice was soft; this was different.  … [He said,] “Whenever you hear ‘nigger,’ hear ‘dirty Jew.’  Whenever you hear ‘spic,’ or ‘fag,’ or ‘dyke,’ hear ‘dirty Jew.’  And take it personally.”
–Seth Chalmer

The tagline comes from the elevator scene in Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2:54 in that clip).

Because trans people need to be able to use public bathrooms and locker rooms, or else we are barred from participation in public life. And when someone tells you that you can’t use a public bathroom because it is not safe for another woman to be in the same bathroom with you, or that they “just don’t feel comfortable” with you being in there, and you need to use the bathroom before you wet yourself… that’s as personal as it gets.